Brett Sampson, “Ye Ought to Forgive”, October 7 2014, BYU-I Devotional

Let's first consider what it means to forgive all men and women, generally. To be a forgiving person, we have a sensitive, empathetic, and charitable heart toward everyone around us. We look at others the way Jesus sees us all.

Not long ago, from this same pulpit, our university president, Kim B. Clark, said that after being cut off on the roads many times while driving, he concluded he would be much better off just deciding that the person in the other car must be having a heart attack--or a baby--and that they must be focused on that concern as they so carelessly rush to what must be the hospital.

My version of that same perspective is that when someone around me makes any form of unkind or careless gesture, I think, How terrible is their day--or their life--that they would be so inconsiderate or that they would be so quick to lose their temper?

We are all on a journey of perfection, yet far from it. You and I have our shortcomings, and we should be grateful others are willing to overlook ours. Spencer W. Kimball said:

So long as mortality exists we live and work with imperfect people; and there will be misunderstandings, offenses, and injuries to sensitive feelings. The best of motives are often misunderstood. It is gratifying to find many who, in their bigness of soul have straightened out their thinking, swallowed their pride, forgiven what they had felt were personal slights. (Spencer W. Kimball,Conference Report, Apr. 1955, 98)

One thing I have learned in my years as a bishop is that everyone has burdens. Whether we have sickness in our own hearts or our hearts ache for someone we love who is suffering, each one of us has pain in our lives and needs the charity Jesus has taught us to have as His disciples. The essence of the gospel is to love one another as He loves us. I believe that means when we look around, we see in every face a child of God who deserves to be loved.

I hope you will receive this next example as reverently as I intend it to be. Often as I am in any group of people, like today, this is how I see the crowd. Imagine with me that: he just failed a test; she just learned her mother has cancer; she feels her roommates don't like her; he wonders if God hears his prayers; she just had a fight with her brother; his fiancé just broke up with him; he is terribly homesick; and she is struggling with repentance. We could go on, but you get the idea.

When I look at any gathering, I really do see my brothers and sisters--individuals whom God loves and whom I love--men and women who certainly have hurt in their lives and who deserve my respect and immediate forgiveness, if necessary. As the children's Primary song says, "Jesus said love everyone; Treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love you" ("Jesus Said Love Everyone,"Children's Songbook, 61).

How Do We Forgive?

So after considering what forgiveness is (and is not), why we must forgive, and all of those we should forgive, how do we go about forgiving?

There are wonderful, specific, and practical tools to be learned from a little study online, from books, and from working with our bishop or with a trained counselor; but at the center of our efforts to forgive should be what I shared at the beginning of my message today. We must look to God in faith and let go of the unnecessary burden we put on our own backs if we unforgivingly cling to pain, resentment, or worse. To borrow a phrase from our fellow Christian brothers and sisters, we should, "Let go and let God."

We can forgive by unloading the rocks from our pockets as we allow those we perceive to have wronged us to work out their own salvation with the Savior. Their forgiveness really is between them and the Lord. So we should let them wrestle through their own repentance, and instead perhaps repent of judging them ourselves.

In Luke 6:41 we read, "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" Just imagine what the world would be like if everyone followed this gospel teaching and was careful to first be concerned with their own hearts, along with their treatment of others. Spencer W. Kimball proposed:

If we would sue for peace, taking the initiative in settling differences--if we would forgive and forget with all our hearts--if we would cleanse our own souls of sin, bitterness, and guilt before we cast a stone or accusation at others--if we would forgive all real or fancied offenses before we asked forgiveness for our own sins--if we would pay our own debts, large or small, before we pressed our debtors--if we would manage to clear our own eyes of the blinding beams before we magnified the motes in the eyes of others--what a glorious world this would be! (Faith Precedes the Miracle, Spencer W. Kimball,195-96).

The Lord knows our hearts; he knows our intentions and our potential, just as He knows the same things about those who may have hurt us. We can forgive by understanding God's role in our lives and by letting Him be the eternal keeper of justice while we focus our energies on loving Him and loving our neighbor. On a number of occasions, Gordon B. Hinckley said variations of the following:

May God help us to be a little kinder, showing forth greater forbearance, to be more forgiving, more willing to walk the second mile, to reach down and lift up those who may have sinned but have brought forth the fruits of repentance, to lay aside old grudges and nurture them no more. (Gordon B. Hinckley, "Forgiveness," Ensign, Oct. 2005)

“Lessons from the Savior’s Young Adult Life”, Elder Kent F. Richards, BYU Devotional, 3/10/15

“Please note that your growth is not defined by external circumstances or appearances. Your growth is personal and comes from within. You are defined by how you discover your own path and then overcome all of the obstacles that seem to make it hard to progress. Elder Neal A. Maxwell often taught about our “customized curriculum” (Neal A. Maxwell, “But for a Small Moment,” BYU fireside address, 1 September 1974) —that which we personally need to learn and experience. I remember during those difficult years of medical training working more than 100 hours a week at the hospital, trying to support a little family; serving in heavy Church assignments; and hearing Elder Boyd K. Packer talk about “packages of provisions” (Boyd K. Packer, “That They May Be Redeemed,” address delivered at regional representative seminar, 1 April 1977)  provided personally for us at critical times along the way. The Father knows our needs and knows our future. He sends us sustaining blessings just as we need them—but, in our experience, only as we are doing our best. Increasing in wisdom, stature, and favor requires our moral agency and action.”

"When the servants of the Lord determine to do as He commands, we move ahead. As we proceed, we are joined at the crossroads by those who have been prepared to help us. They come with skills and abilities precisely suited to our needs. And, we find provisions; information, inventions, helps of various kinds, set along the way waiting for us to take them up. It is as though someone knew we would be traveling that way. We see the invisible hand of the Almighty providing for us... When we are ready, there will be revealed whatever we need—we will find it waiting at the crossroads." - Boyd K. Packer ("That They May Be Redeemed," address delivered Regional Representative Seminar, April 1, 1977).

“In the Strength of the Lord”, Henry B. Eyring, April 2004

     “When I was a young man, I served as counselor to a wise district president in the Church. He tried to teach me. One of the things I remember wondering about was this advice he gave: ‘When you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time.’

      I thought then that he was pessimistic. Now, more than 40 years later, I can see how well he understood the world and life. As time passes, the world grows more challenging, and our physical capacities slowly diminish with age. It is clear that we will need more than human strength. The Psalmist was right: ‘But the salvation of the righteous is of the Lord: he is their strength in the time of trouble.’

“The Fuel We Need to Power Our Lives”, by LDS.org Blog Staff September 7, 2017

Loneliness, worry, apathy, and uncertainty. These are just some of the feelings that accompany the challenges of the human experience—things like old age, struggling children, natural disasters, suicide, questions about God, and providing for the needs of a family. 

They are challenges bigger than us. Bigger than the advice we can get from the best books. Bigger than the assistance we can get from people and programs. They are the obstacles for which God promised, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Matthew 7:7). We may not find that our difficulties are taken away, but through prayer we learn to walk through our trials with God and, line upon line, find greater peace, hope, and understanding.

Prayer Fuels Our Daily Activities

Jesus taught us that we should look to God each day for the direction and help we need in that particular day. But do we?

Like a popular hymn asks:

Ere you left your room this morning,

Did you think to pray?

In the name of Christ, our Savior,

Did you sue for loving favor

As a shield today?

Prayer can fuel our daily activities as a shield from temptation, a rest from the weariness of fear and uncertainty, and a vehicle to “change our night into day” as His light and love more fully fill our hearts.

Author C. S. Lewis described it this way: “God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other."

 Through prayer, God will fuel our marriages, our children, our jobs, our decisions, our testimonies, our feelings, and our goals. His fuel may come in such forms as wisdom, eternal perspective, courage, or peace. And His fuel not only helps us with our problems, it helps us to be our best selves, “to repent, improve, and eventually reach ‘the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.’” Elder D. Todd Christofferson reminds us that it is because we can appeal to God for the help we need each day that we can become better.

Prayer Fuels Our Remembrance

Prayer reminds us that we are children of a loving Heavenly Father who grants us personal access to Him and His eternal realities.

As President Henry B. Eyring said: “It is not a matter so much of which words to use. … It is an approach to your Heavenly Father with the intent to be recognized by Him personally. He is the God above all, the Father of all, and yet willing to give undivided attention to one of His children.”

An example of this is when Joseph Smith, while in Liberty Jail, pleaded in desperate prayer, “O God, where art thou?” A loving Father replied, “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment” (D&C 121:1, 7; emphasis added).

That personal acknowledgment likely gave Joseph needed fuel to endure a little longer.

From Joseph Smith to Moses and Mary the mother of Jesus, there are numerous examples in the scriptures of God using His voice or the voice of His servants to speak to His children by name. Each communication was personal. Each communication was special. Because God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, those personal communications continue still. They can fuel our remembrance that each of us has a personal relationship with God.

It is both simple and profound, something President Gordon B. Hinckley reminds us of in a few short sentences:

You are in very deed a child of God. He is your Eternal Father.

He loves you.

You can go to Him in prayer.

He has invited you to do so.

What a wonderful thing this is.

He is the greatest of All.

He is the Creator and Governor of the universe.

And yet He will listen to your prayers.

  

It is that personal relationship with God that gives us the strength we need to weather the storms of life. Every joy is a blessing, and every trial is an invitation to draw closer to Him and rely on His grace as we move forward.

Prayer Powers Our Progression

With God, through prayer, all things are possible, and without prayer we lack the power to progress. Prayer is the portal to progression. As Elder Kevin W. Pearson taught: “Without prayer, there is no possible return to the Father. Without prayer, repentance, forgiveness, and the cleansing power of the Atonement are unattainable. Without prayer, sufficient faith to understand and keep the commandments is impossible. Without prayer, the necessary spiritual power to avoid temptation and overcome trials and adversity would be unavailable.”

  

As we navigate the obstacles and opportunities of this earthly experience, we can do so in partnership with God, who said, “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” Prayer is the vehicle through which He fuels our lives, grants us His personal and undivided attention, and makes our progression possible. All we need to do to “fill up” is ask of God.